2022 Solo Exhibition

SOMETHING BIG
SOMETHING SMALL

Lostgens' Contemporary Art Space

 

 

时而近；时而远。时而对焦；时而失焦。

 

 

我从2017年尾声开始了所谓的创作。当时的我并不
知道“创作”意味着什么，我只是随着一股内在的冲动，它说：为了继续走下去，你要开始画在大一点的画面上，不要问为什么，不要问去向哪里，就只是去开始。

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我也不知道什么风格，我想我也不在乎。一年一年过去，先说，我不是每天对着画布啃的人。我非常随心，也不知道什么时候才算是“够了”或“结束”。我唯一知道的是我当时的焦躁、彷徨、不安。我有很多的“为什么”，对事情，对人，对自己。东想西想的，除了画画也开始看书看电影。

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我觉得我需要安抚内心的一个什么，我觉得我本身其实没有什么实质的力量，我觉得为了不被自己打倒我需要去寻找，去行动，去看见。

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整个过程最大的障碍在于发现自己的矛盾。发现不等于接受。我有太多的疑惑。我觉得矛盾是造成我痛苦的根源，所以为了摆脱痛苦，我以为需要去统一。

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2017年到2022年，当中还经历了新冠肺炎时期。4-5年的时光可以对一个人做什么？因为疫情，展览取消过一次，然后就是等。等到来，菜都凉了。但还是得端出去。

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我也不知道展览应该要长怎样。一切都在一知半解的状态下完成。我对很多疑惑还是疑惑，却必须给出一些答案。惶恐。

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有时候会稍微怀疑就这样办了第一次个展，是不是有点“不负责任”？不过更多的时候，我相信这些“不清不楚”对我来说是必要的。我也很少等自己完全准备好了才去行动。有满满犹豫的同时依然有满满的冲动。

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连展览 / 创作自述都不知道要怎么写，我到底要讲什么？想来想去，到最后还是：想不到的就不想了，不想做的也不要做，剩下的是什么就是什么吧。

写于2025。这时候的我已经学会拥抱矛盾。虽然矛盾的确产生痛苦，但它也是构成人的主要成分，在挣扎中挥发出一种和谐。

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​Sometimes it is close;

Sometimes it is far away.

 

Sometimes it is in focus;

Sometimes it is out of focus.

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I started the so-called creation at the end of 2017. At that time, I didn't know what "creation" meant.
I just followed an inner impulse, which said: To keep going, you have to start painting on a larger canvas. Don't ask why, don't ask where to go, just start.

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I don't know what style it is, and I don't think I care. Year after year, I must admit that I am not a person who works on the canvas every day. I am very casual, and I don't know when it will be "enough" or "over". The only thing I know is that I was anxious, confused, and uneasy at the time. I have a lot of "whys" for things, people, and myself. I think about this and that, and in addition to painting, I also started reading books and watching movies.

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I feel that I need to comfort something in my heart. I feel that I don't have any real power. I feel that in order not to be beaten by myself, I need to find, act, and see.

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The biggest obstacle in the whole process is discovering my contradictions. Discovery does not mean acceptance. I have too many doubts. I think contradictions are the root cause of my pain, so to get rid of pain, I think I need to unify.

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From 2017 to 2022, we also experienced the COVID-19 period. What can 4-5 years do to a person? Because of the epidemic, the exhibition was cancelled once, and then we just waited. When it arrived, the food was cold. But it still had to be served.

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I don’t know what the exhibition should look like. Everything was done in a state of half-knowledge. I still have doubts about many doubts, but I have to give some answers. Fear.

Sometimes I doubt a little bit that it is a bit "irresponsible" to hold my first solo exhibition like this. But more often, I believe that these "uncertainties" are necessary for me. I rarely wait until I am fully prepared before taking action. There is a lot of hesitation, and still a lot of impulse.

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I don’t even know how to write the exhibition/artist statement. What exactly do I want to say? After thinking about it, in the end, don’t think about what you can’t think of, don’t do what you don’t want to do, and what is left is what it is.

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Written in 2025. At this time, I have learned to embrace contradictions. Although contradiction does cause pain, it is also the main component of human beings, and a kind of harmony emerges from the struggle.

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